Saturday, February 6, 2010

Excellence not perfection will lead me on the path to happiness. Barbara Holt

The biggest challenge for me these past few weeks has been patience. And with the absence of patience I get exasperated. To counteract my impatience, I have been trying to do some positive awareness self talk....So here goes: What I know today is that I am warm, well fed, blessed with many friends and a great family, along with the opportunity to make this a great day.

So I will run with it. The best thing I can do today is give up the thought that I can control anything that happens. I can choose to react, or accept. It is up to me to be miserable, and sad .....or to roll with it and be happy.

The lack of patience for me comes from the fear of the unknown and wondering what am I suppose to do next. I sat in the chapel on campus this week, and asked the questions, "what next, what if, and how come". These were all valid questions I thought, but in the end, in the asking, it really got me nowhere but frustrated.

What I realized is that I need to trust more, accept that I have no control over anything and what ever happens I will make the best of it. I will look for what I am supposed to take away from the situation and learn from it.

What I learned this week, by Barbara Holt.

Patience is something I have to practice. For me, giving up control is something I will always struggle with, and finding a focus is hard when you are giving up control and being patient. It is an oxymoron!

The moral of the story: When I try to focus, I try to control, and then I get impatient. I am thinking there may need to more of a balance in my thinking. The other thought is maybe to expect nothing and whatever happens is a surprise bonus. It is so hard for me as an overachiever to live this way.

And waaala. There is the lesson.

Put away the need to overachieve
Have no expectations
Lose the focus - blurry is OK

be patient with myself.

I do not always have to be "doing something" or "achieving" to get my control fix. It is acceptable to be idol, non productive, and get a B on a paper if I have done my best. The world will not end.

My thought for the day....
Excellence not Perfection.

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