Saturday, February 6, 2010

Excellence not perfection will lead me on the path to happiness. Barbara Holt

The biggest challenge for me these past few weeks has been patience. And with the absence of patience I get exasperated. To counteract my impatience, I have been trying to do some positive awareness self talk....So here goes: What I know today is that I am warm, well fed, blessed with many friends and a great family, along with the opportunity to make this a great day.

So I will run with it. The best thing I can do today is give up the thought that I can control anything that happens. I can choose to react, or accept. It is up to me to be miserable, and sad .....or to roll with it and be happy.

The lack of patience for me comes from the fear of the unknown and wondering what am I suppose to do next. I sat in the chapel on campus this week, and asked the questions, "what next, what if, and how come". These were all valid questions I thought, but in the end, in the asking, it really got me nowhere but frustrated.

What I realized is that I need to trust more, accept that I have no control over anything and what ever happens I will make the best of it. I will look for what I am supposed to take away from the situation and learn from it.

What I learned this week, by Barbara Holt.

Patience is something I have to practice. For me, giving up control is something I will always struggle with, and finding a focus is hard when you are giving up control and being patient. It is an oxymoron!

The moral of the story: When I try to focus, I try to control, and then I get impatient. I am thinking there may need to more of a balance in my thinking. The other thought is maybe to expect nothing and whatever happens is a surprise bonus. It is so hard for me as an overachiever to live this way.

And waaala. There is the lesson.

Put away the need to overachieve
Have no expectations
Lose the focus - blurry is OK

be patient with myself.

I do not always have to be "doing something" or "achieving" to get my control fix. It is acceptable to be idol, non productive, and get a B on a paper if I have done my best. The world will not end.

My thought for the day....
Excellence not Perfection.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Inclusiveness and Differences

Inclusiveness is belonging.

I believe a basic human need is the need to be included.

To me, to be included means that I am welcome, I am invited no matter what I bring or who I am or what I believe. I am inspired when I am included in different opportunities, regardless if there are opposing opinions, different backgrounds, or unique ideas.

I am writing this from my point of view of exclusion, because at some time I was not included and thought it was probably because I was different from the rest.

Yes, I am human. I struggle every day with many situations that make me a unique person, with thoughts to process, choices to make, and insecurities to overcome. I choose to do this with hope, tenacity and a positive attitude. In this world, as different as we all are I do believe we all have the basic human need to be included, to be respected, and to be loved for who we are inside.

This is how I live my life. I am really not that different and just like most people I want to be included, whether I am different or the same. I have feelings, struggles, and ideas to share, along with an open mind and a heart that does not judge.

I believe being inclusive is the basis for finding peace and hope in the world. It starts with the inclusiveness of people, ideas, voices, and the respect of each person's unique point of view. I agree everyone has the right to their own opinion, because we are all unique human beings and have many different thoughts and ideas. However, I also believe that to foster inclusiveness, we need to embrace another person’s thoughts and ideas to build community and replace exclusivity.

We as a society are quick to chime in with our own thoughts and exclude another person's ideas. This is making something right and something wrong. With ideas, there are no right or wrong. Ideas are in the form of thoughts, hopes, dreams, expectations, hurts, losses, triumphs, sacrifices, and a person's own personal truth. How can any of this be wrong?

Do we listen to each other anymore? Do we sit in the moment to really learn about someone, or do we quickly try to force our own personal opinion on someone to hear ourselves talk and get our point across.

I propose we as a society try to be more inclusive, we need to listen more to each other, talk less about ourselves, and never ever judge.

I believe that we learn in the space of differences, we grow in the face of adversity, and we flourish in the act of inclusiveness. - Barbara Holt