she wears her heart on her sleeve

she wears her heart on her sleeve                                                           

she wears her heart on her sleeve

like a note from her mom

safety pinned to her warm, fuzzy sweater 

on the first day of school

apprehensive and shy 

she saunters through early days

with a small child’s voice

she wears her heart on her sleeve

like book full of enchanted stories

sitting on a shelf waiting to be desired

exuberant and hopeful

she dances through the early-days

a young woman’s voice

she wears her heart on her sleeve

like a badge of honor

earned during the turbulent times

rising above, with confidence and strength

moving through the pain 

to embrace inner peace

she rejoices in today

her true voice and heart joined as one

Excellence not perfection will lead me on the path to happiness. Barbara Holt

The biggest challenge for me these past few weeks has been patience. And with the absence of patience I get exasperated. To counteract my impatience, I have been trying to do some positive awareness self talk....So here goes: What I know today is that I am warm, well fed, blessed with many friends and a great family, along with the opportunity to make this a great day.

So I will run with it. The best thing I can do today is give up the thought that I can control anything that happens. I can choose to react, or accept. It is up to me to be miserable, and sad .....or to roll with it and be happy.

The lack of patience for me comes from the fear of the unknown and wondering what am I suppose to do next. I sat in the chapel on campus this week, and asked the questions, "what next, what if, and how come". These were all valid questions I thought, but in the end, in the asking, it really got me nowhere but frustrated.

What I realized is that I need to trust more, accept that I have no control over anything and what ever happens I will make the best of it. I will look for what I am supposed to take away from the situation and learn from it.

What I learned this week, by Barbara Holt.

Patience is something I have to practice. For me, giving up control is something I will always struggle with, and finding a focus is hard when you are giving up control and being patient. It is an oxymoron!

The moral of the story: When I try to focus, I try to control, and then I get impatient. I am thinking there may need to more of a balance in my thinking. The other thought is maybe to expect nothing and whatever happens is a surprise bonus. It is so hard for me as an overachiever to live this way.

And waaala. There is the lesson.

Trust
Put away the need to overachieve
Have no expectations
Lose the focus - blurry is OK
and.....

be patient with myself.

I do not always have to be "doing something" or "achieving" to get my control fix. It is acceptable to be idol, non productive, and get a B on a paper if I have done my best. The world will not end.

My thought for the day....
Excellence not Perfection.

I'm Back

This BLOGGING is hard work.

I was asked if I was going to continue my blogging on "Voice of the Spirit" this weekend. I guess someone likes what I have to say!

I promise to be more consistent with my entries.

The New Year has started with a JOB interview opportunity! I have one today. I am excited because it is where I have always wanted to work. Hopefully it is in the plan for me to get this position. It has been a LONG time a comin'.

My job search has been one of perseverance and patience. It has made me stronger as well as deepened my faith. I believe there is a reason for everything and I am blessed to have had this time on my journey to get back to the basics of living simply and loving unconditionally.

I have found that for me this is what my journey has been really all about. I try to helping others in need and make the world a better place to dwell in for everyone.

My St. Kate's experience has supported me in my mission to make changes in my life as well as make a difference in other people's lives in my community and in the world.

Throughout my journey I have learned one important thing: A positive attitude is everything! There is always HOPE, and a smile and a kind word is the best way to make yourself as well as another person's day brighter. I am a believer in putting out positive vibes to the universe.

"If you're NOT thinking about a negative thought, your vibration is going to raise to its natural positive place."

--- Abraham

Peace out. Have a great day!

Barb

Fresh outlook

I wrote the first draft of my memoiré for class last night. Creative writing has been challenging, fun and insightful. I am not sure of my path, the only thing I am certain of is today, who I am, how I want present myself in this world and what I can give to others to make the world a better place.

I have struggled, fallen down, picked myself up and moved on with my life. I cherish each moment, and live in that moment as best I can. I try not to borrow from the future or regret anything from the past.

I value collaborative relationships, love to see people happy and succeed, always look for the best in everyone and hope that someday, by my experiences and relationships that I have made a difference in someone's life.

I'm living in the moment and always remembering where I came from, and how far I have come:)

F E A R

FEAR is described as FALSE - EVALUATION - APPEARS - REAL!

Fear can be paralyzing, but most of the time the worst does not happen. It is the thought of the worst, the apprehension and unrealistic expectations that hold us back from taking the leap of faith to accomplish our goals. I know for me it is the FEAR of Failure. My new motto is to "Just get over it and do it anyway!"